These socks remind me of someone…
I bought Agent P’s Guide to Fighting Evil today (I’m entitled), and it is the biggest OTP-fest, I swear. (The whole thing is also REALLY HILARIOUS, so you should definitely buy it if you find it.)
When you work with someone for a long time you have a tendency to become friends … even if that person is your enemy. Befriending your nemesis is a slippery slope and caring too much can be your downfall. But with a few helpful tips, you can navigate the frienemesis waters with confidence.
- Always - Be courteous and polite.
- Sometimes - Assist with small tasks.
- Never - Agree to help him move to a new place. C’mon. Hire a moving company, ya cheapskate!
- Always - Acknowledge birthdays and holidays.
- Sometimes - Send a card.
- Never - Send holidays cards together with pictures of the two of you in matching sweaters. Yuck! (!!!)
- Always - Offer to pay for your half of a meal. (THERE’S AN ACCOMPANYING PICTURE OF THE TWO OF THEM TRYING TO CALCULATE THE TAB, I SWEAR, I’M DYING)
- Sometimes - Offer to treat. (!!!)
- Never - Pay his rent. Just say no.
Also there’s this:In some rare, unlikely, bizarre circumstances, you may find yourself in a situation where you need to dance with your nemesis.And there are step-by-step instructions on how to do this, and the first few are
- Face your nemesis.
- Put your right hand on the waist of your nemesis.
- Raise your left hand and hold the right hand of your nemesis.
Ugh, I’m going to kill them.
by “rare, unlikely, bizarre circumstance” he means like twice a month right
I don’t actually dance myself, but I’m pretty sure those dancing instructions mean that the hero leads when dancing with his nemesis. As is canon.
And the women swoon whenever they hear him say…
Survey results time! Yesterday I asked you to type the noise Perry the Platypus makes. Here is what everyone said:
- crcrcrcr
- Ctrtrtrtr
- g’llllrrrrrrrrd
- gnagnagnagna
- GRGGRAAAGRGRGRRRA
- grgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgr
- grgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgr
- Grrrrchgrchgrchgrchgrr…
- gygygyggyggygyg
- Gyruriruurururururururur
- Gyrurururururur
- igiiggigigigg
- Kertrtrtrtrtr?
- kgrkgrkggbbhjbgftyujkhbgtfyuhgfrdtfyhjvfghjkhbgj
- Kkkkkrrrrrr
- krgkrkrkgkrkgkrkgkkkkrkrrrr
- Krkrkrkrkr!
- krkrkrkrkrkkrk
- krkrkrkrkrkrkrkr
- krkrkrkrkrkrkrkr
- krkrkrkrkrkrrrrrr
- krrkrrkrrkrr
- Krrrrrrkrrrrrrr
- KRRRRRRRRR
- krrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
- ng’g’g’g’g’g’g’g’g
- nnnghghghghghghghgh
- rrrrdtdtdttddtdtdtdttdtd
Survey time!
Quick, without thinking too hard about it, how would you personally spell the noise Perry the Platypus makes?
Instructions: 1. Stick out tongue. 2. Place tattoo flat on tongue. 3. Hold in place no longer than 1-2 seconds. 4. Lift off carefully to avoid smudging. 5. Stick tongue out at nearest friend.
Tumblr, you are my nearest friend.
dedicated to Mik for the best url
“don’t look at me like that Perry the Platypus, the knitinator’s designs are completely random, I’ll have you know”
